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Why Are Older Men So Afraid Of Commitment

I am 40 yrs old and feel so discouraged about meeting someone compatible. I am healthy (petite), educated, financially secure(independent), and have an adult child.

I have been divorced for several years and have tried paid private dating sites, on-line sites, church activities, and personal set ups (family). All have failed. I find that men in their later years like me, are not wanting to get into a long term relationship.. they just want to have their fun and move on. So ultimately, I’m done trying. They are pretty much left overs anyway .. as I tell myself. Oh ya the guys that have never been married are just that for a reason, shelfish through and through (self -indulgent). Oh yes, why is it men are so cheap these days whether they have good careers or not they are cheap, never think to bring flowers, or even throw a compliment out . It’s all about them.

Yes, and on-line sites are the worst, all liars .. just illusions. Apparently, when talking to men, I’ve discovered that they either get married to someone they didn’t want to just because they felt pressured to. Pretty sad, and they’ll gladly go out with a women with kids (especially if their late in years and haven’t had their own just to boost their profile to enhance their image at work). Sad.

Reply

Some guys cannot offer marriage because they are afraid of commitment. Being in a committed relationship is not a requirement for a full life. It is just another option, but an option that women as a whole seem to value more than men. Any relationship is beautiful, a value on its own merits. Commitment won’t invalidate what you have. So if a man is "reluctant" to commit to a relationship, perhaps it's because he doesn't have a reason to, or he doesn't want to, or doesn't need to. Some are still hunting for the best. These men could never be serious in any way.

Men by nature are polygamous, some are really happy-go-lucky types that will choose freedom rather than getting tied up. Some men have attitude problems while a lot of them enter a relationship to uplift their image. In every man’s success lies a woman on his side. True enough if it is sincere but if not, then he is a user. Don’t get hooked with men’s disguises. Sincere men though hard to find follow their hearts not their minds. It is not also the fault of online dating sites that when a relationship that blossomed from there did not work. They do not have control over liars because some people can enter into different profiles and play around. Some are just testing the waters. You see, people differ from one another and they can pretend to be different as well.

Online dating scene is not bad. Fortunately, some could really meet the real guy in some of these sites; these are the ones who desire long-term relationship even if it is love across the miles. The amount of lying is usually minimal in these types of men because they prefer serious relationships. This could eventually lead to face-to-face encounter, hitting it off, actual getting-to-know stage, and hopefully commitment. The process may be long. You do not want whirlwind courtship, chances are you will file a divorce in a month or two.

Why men gone cheap these days? The moral of our society is dying. A man can get himself a woman on a one-night stand without the need to spend for her. Sex now is like a handshake. A conceited guy presumes that girls will swoon over him and even spend for him. His presence alone suffices. On the other hand, a loving woman is willing to wait and can sacrifice. When a man reciprocates this love, then you are lucky enough, commitment is on its way.

Apparently, these are but some of the reasons why men will never be in a hurry settling down. Some maybe waiting for the world to turn upside down and women will begin to court men. To some men, they believe that the number of women exceeds the number of men nowadays so there are still many fish in the ocean.

Our folks could be wondering, their times before were dynamic and responsible. They are now missing the fun-loving generations of the recent past! People used to care for one another. Conversations were thoughtful and enjoyable. People respected one another and did nice things for their neighbors and friends. Committed relationships and marriage were the healthy basis of society. Kids were saner as a result. So for now, patience is the key in finding the marrying man. The protagonist is still around. Do not quit searching for him. As a reminder, do not be demanding when in a relationship, do not pressure the guy, quit domineering. Men have their intuition as well; some use them wisely over lust. Leave 50% of your love for yourself so you will not get hurt deeply when something went wrong. Be economical in giving trust. Follow your instinct more than what you feel so you will not stumble for another chance, and be keener this time. You have learned the lesson well, so the next time you meet Mr. Right wannabe you are more adept and braver.